


Falling Into Love

by LilyAnson



Series: Challenges.  Some drabbles, some not so much. [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Atonement - Freeform, Canon Rewrite, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Guilt, M/M, Revelations, Sad Ending, The Cage, The Horsemen's Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8748352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAnson/pseuds/LilyAnson
Summary: "A small plastic toy.  That’s what started the cascade, but it didn’t end there.  No, it definitely did not end there."Lucifer is struck by the powerful emotions of Sam's memories and realizes something important.  Something he never expected to ever happen.  At least, not to him.  *A rewrite of the ending of Swan Song 5x22*





	

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not turn into more at a later date.

A small plastic toy. That’s what started the cascade, but it didn’t end there. No, it definitely did not end there. Memories unbidden flashed through his mind. The toy soldier stuck in the car’s ashtray, the brothers carving their initials into the car, old rock music cassettes, and other memories assaulted him. There were so many memories coursing through him it was hard to get a specific feel on any of them. And then there was Sam.

The final memory, the one where he was hugging his brother… _No not his brother, Dean’s brother,_ Lucifer thought. Still, something about that memory hit hard. Desperately, Lucifer tried to analyze it. He was stunned when he finally reached an answer. The quality of the memory that hit him the hardest and stopped him was the love the two brothers felt for each other. Blinking several times he stared down at Dean. Bloody, battered, broken, but still his brother. _No_ , Lucifer thought. _Not my brother._

Even knowing Dean wasn’t his brother didn’t stop the emotions stirring inside. Breathing heavily Lucifer released Dean and took two steps backward. Dean wasn’t his brother. There was no brotherly love between the two of them. Still, looking down at the bleeding man leaning against the vehicle, Lucifer wanted to cringe. Had he done this to Dean? Was he responsible for the injuries the older Winchester had suffered? 

Perhaps he was only half-remembering his Father’s edicts. Perhaps Dean’s words had gotten to him? Perhaps he was still tainted with Sam’s love for his brother. Perhaps he had spent so long alone he didn’t know how to control his emotions any longer. Whatever it was, he was wracked with a sense of guilt. Staring at Dean he suddenly couldn’t take the knowledge that he had been the person to cause him such pain. Before he even knew what he was saying he found himself reassuring the older Winchester.

“It’s okay Dean. It’s going to be okay.”

Lucifer took a step forward and Dean flinched. It’s slight, ever so slight; almost imperceptible, but he saw it. Something about that tiny flinch caused his chest hurt. He couldn’t understand why but it was actually painful that Dean should be scared of him. He wanted… He wanted… That was the question wasn’t it? What _did_ he want? _Dean_ , his mind told him. Lucifer frowned at that but the more he thought about it the more he realized it was true. He had spent several millennia hating humans and yet, when he should hate the man in front of him, he didn’t. Lucifer was suddenly struck by a desire to protect Dean so strong he couldn’t stop himself. Didn’t want to stop himself.

Lucifer was struck by the one thing he never expect to feel ever again. Love. He didn’t bother to wonder how he could feel love once again, let alone for a human. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was Dean. He started to take another step forward but remembered the slight flinch the last time. He almost winced. He needed to let Dean know how he felt. That thought stilled him. Even if he did, how could Dean ever care for _him_?

Reaching into the pocket of Sam’s pants Lucifer withdrew the horsemen's rings. He stared at them wondering if he was really going to go through with this. Why should he? He glanced back to Dean once more. _For him_ , Lucifer told himself. _I possessed his brother and hurt him. There’s no way he could forgive me._ If he couldn’t have Dean’s forgiveness then the least he could do was to atone.

“It’s okay Dean,” Lucifer repeated.

Dropping the rings onto the ground he recited the words that opened the gateway to the cage. He didn’t think about what he was doing as he recite the incantation. He didn’t dare allow himself time to think about the consequences. He _needed_ to atone. If he couldn’t have Dean this was the one thing he could do for him.

“Bvtmon tabges babalon.”

As he stood at the precipice eying Dean one last time Michael returned. 

“Lucifer! It's not gonna end this way! Step back!”

“You're gonna have to make me brother!”

“We have to fight! Here and now! It's my destiny!”

Lucifer cast another glance back to Dean and was hit with all the similarities. Despite everything Lucifer had never wanted to fight Michael. Michael was his brother. He would do everything in his power never to hurt Michael. He recognized the love Dean felt for Sam was every bit as intense as Lucifer felt towards Michael. After possessing Sam and the pain he had caused Dean how could Dean ever forgive him? No, he had to do this. If for no other reason then to atone.

Holding out his arms he leaned back. He didn’t let himself think of how he was condemning himself. He didn’t dare in case he lost his nerve. Michael rushed him. Lucifer, in a desperate attempt to follow through with his plan grabbed onto his brother and yanked. That Michael would end up in the cage with him didn’t ever cross his mind. It was instinct plain and simple. If he didn’t yank Michael forward his brother might be able to get enough purchase to pull him upright and stop him from falling. And so Lucifer yanked. 

As intended Michael lost his balance and toppled into him. It was at this moment he realized the full meaning of his actions. Not only was he condemning himself back into the pit he was condemning his brother as well. As much as Michael did not deserve to be stuck in the pit Lucifer couldn’t find it in himself to be too upset. Michael would be angry. _Good_ , Lucifer thought to himself. Perhaps he could goad Michael into taking his anger out on him. It would be just recompense for the harm he had caused Dean.

Lucifer’s last thoughts before the gateway closed were of Dean.


End file.
